tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
