Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
