I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Pooping to opera.
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