Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
