I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
