im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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