New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
