Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
