she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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