Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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