On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
