Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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