Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
