I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
