I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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