im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
