Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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