So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This baby is an asshole
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
