My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
