did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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