So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
