So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
