halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
