There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
