apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
