Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
