is your mom at the bar?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
