I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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