Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
