Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i now understand why vodka
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
