omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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