Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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