He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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