bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
