is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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