Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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