the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
