Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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