She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
