erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
