you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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