p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize