I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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