just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
