He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
