im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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