just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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