I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
