Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
