I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
