Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
