Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
