there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
