Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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